Wednesday, August 30, 2006 at Wednesday, August 30, 2006
yeah! finally back.. had 4 matches wid the malaysians. hehe. definately a fun experience and bonding! hehe. the best match was definately the first day! haha. the gers dere r really friendly and they r v.cheerful type. throughout the whole day they r cheering and cheering non stop! totally boosted our morale up to the max! hehe. good start! haha. we won all matches.was paired wid phloy. hehe. she damn cute n we both share the same room. haha. she is my zhu jie jie. hehe. n i am xiao zhu. haha. dunno named by hu. lol. i think its roy. haha. we r the zhu jie mei. lol. lame.. haha. but anyway she is definately nice lah. haha. mad n mel also my khakis. haha. the M&M... haha. nigel damn bad. say mad is buy one one get one free the free gift. lol. also get to know alex! haha. always bug him wid this phrase is a v.sai nai way " but alex..." haha. nice guy even though he gt a big tummy. hehe.
on the first nite i damn quiet. haha. everyone around tt level was making so much noise n i slept the earliest n pillow talked wid phoyl. haha. the next day went to JONKER WALK. which is v.near our inn. its a interesting place. hehe. bought loads of stuff dere. the things dere r more of the artsy fartsy kind. i bought two wind chime looking thingy. gt flying pigg and flying mouse. one for me n one for my aunt. she loves mouse. hehe. i bought two light cover too n also a dream catcher for germaine. cuz she mentioned she keep having nitemare. hopefully it will help in a way or 2. went dutch square n portugese settlement. i simply love dutch square! its really unqiue n i took loads of pics dere. haha. den when i eat over dere is like princess liddat. haha. spend alot on food though.
had a few team bonding activity n one of it was totally crazy lah! cuz my zhu jie jie was a pole n ming yao was the dancer. n his dance moves totally shake the whole inn lah. everyone was laughing like nobody's business! but its really sick lah. haha.
last day of the tour had match at kluang. haiz. poor yen kai. he gt a big big cut on his chin. damn poor thing. cuz bleed alot. but i really find him v.man lah. haha. enjoyed myself throughout the whole tour. except tt i cant stand her!!! really. so freakin rude but good thing tt she will be leaving soon. yeah!!! haha. so bad. but she is even worst.
haiz. was feeling so sad lors. when i reach sg. ppl's parents will be dere waiting for em but i have to go home alone. n when i reach home. we somehow had some disagreement. haiz. in short i am damn sad n i cried n cried. very disappointed! haiz. den having gastric also. not my day man. haiz.
Friday, August 25, 2006 at Friday, August 25, 2006
yeah!!! went mediacorp to try out filming! haha. so fun! haha. went wid germaine! nope. not an inch of akwardness. we can really talk. duno y... ironic.. but tts life. morning was supposed to meet jere for breakfast! but i am so disappointed by the fact tt he over slept even though he promised me. n i did insist tt he dun have to come over so early n it will b tough for him to do so. but wad happen in the end? tsk. somemore yest nite he was supposed to come over n stay but he gave some excuses. haiz. waited for his call the whole nite but he didnt call. haiz. hw can i not be disappointed? n he can say he dun wanna contact me cuz of dis! tsk. okies. nvm abt him first. yeah i really had fun! haha. but i think i was kinda sua ku n blur blur kind. ppl talk to me i also v.shy. saw quan yi feng , bryan wong , christopher lee , randall tan, n blah blah blah. haha. all quite dao. haha. but hu cares anyway. haha. den got to noe n meet new ppl again! haha. went to make up at the make up unit. omg! the thickest make up ever!!! my face like gt 1 thick layer of mask!!! ew... cant breathe... haha. den went to the pool rm to start our first scene. haha. not as bad as i think! hehe. i am starting to fall in love wid acting! :P haha. fun fun fun! but i think i NG alot of time lah. haha. den went to the director's hse to act. hehe. dis time i am elder sister of germaine. haha. so funny. we hugged, eat chips tog, jump on sofa tog, made manicure n pedicure n pack luggage together. haha. if only in reality i have a sister. haha. den can share clothes shopping tog n nt to mention cat fight. haha. den went bugis.
hopefully the director is still live n kicking after tt. haha. cuz i bet he puke alot of blood. :P haha. but happy to get to noe klenn n ben as well also the crews. hehe. they r nice ppl. patient wid me. hehe. but definately fun lah. a nice experience. except tt the make up... tsk. its suffocating my face n facial pores. :P
den after tt germaine n me went starbucks or coffeebean? hm... i duno hw to differentiate. haha. she treat me. haiz. so paiseh... but nvm i will treat u next time! haha. den we go shop around bugis. on my way to aunt's hse my bread was flatten by the bus door. haiz. n so is the durian. the bus was extremely packed lors. lucky nearby only. haha. den gt this lady, keep insisting to let her move to the back. but the prob is i cant move a single inch lors! haiz. she still push me.. crazy.
yeah! finally saw my granny! god i miss her alot! i feel so bad. i am not doing a gd job as a grandchild. haiz. cuz weekends have to wrk. den i gt no time to meet her. den also nv really go n make the effort to call her n chat wid her. even though i noe dis lil actions n lil things i do will brighten up her day alot n kill her loneliness. haiZ. i am sorry. actually i am kinda scared. i cannot imagine the day we will nv talk again! haiz. okok. lets not go tt far. she is fine! n she will always be! haiz. i love u nai nai!
went mustafa to stock up my toiletries. haha. went to many many places to buy mcard but all dun have!!! argh! irritating lors! wanna buy mp3 player also cannot! cuz dun have the model i wan! argh. irritating! btw saw min jie n jian ming at mustafa! haha.
Thursday, August 24, 2006 at Thursday, August 24, 2006
went sch today! last day of sch! man... i will miss joce nigel deep n remi!!! haiz. tt bunch of jokers. haiz. sad lors. haha. but will still see em around. so no worries. wear semi formal to sch. haa. wore heels too. by the time i reach the traffic light, its already killing my legs! damn! i gotta wear it the whole day!!! omg... i am starting to regret. went to jurong to meet him. but cant go up his hse. haiz. i think his family members hate me. haiz. kinda sad also. esp the treatment frm cindy. kinda hurt cuz i always look upon her. n now things turn out liddat. haiz. sad sad sad. but wad can i do? mayb they need time to accept me again.
went training today! i think i did well in receiveing! haha. no doubt nt v.gd but gt improvement! haha. hope i can keep on improving n not stagnant. i can do it! roll here roll dere . trying my best to save the balls n improve. haha. but still lousy. but nvm! i will continue to jia you! dun let ppl to affect me n my performance! i will jia you n prove em wrong.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006 at Wednesday, August 23, 2006
haiz. sad sad sad!!! i am sad some how. i feel like giving up for a millions time! went to sch. but chao again. dunno wad the hell am i doing. tsk. went home n cried. i really dunno wad to do. i wanna back out cuz it hurts to hear it from his mouth. but i waited anyway. went to watch tokyo drift! damn cool. n now i am back home again! haiz. waiting for his ans. at 12am.
Monday, August 21, 2006 at Monday, August 21, 2006
went to bishan wid joce n nigel. haha. ate buffet. omg freakin feel like puking. n remi steph deep n louis joined us after tt. remi put new tattoo! two somemore! one touch up another wan angel. cool lors! haha. after tt went training.today damn shag. omg. my hands n fingers have no strength at all!!! thanks to all the settings n pumpings! ew... tired n dehydrated.
jere n ger went out today. didnt really contact him during their outing. all i wanna do is to rest n rest. i am so freaking tired. i seriously dunno wad he want he is starting to give me excuses. tsk. i really duno wad he wan. lamer.
Saturday, August 19, 2006 at Saturday, August 19, 2006
today finally made it to the math module. but i am still late. n unfotunately i left half way. haha. why do i have friends like deep n all? lol. haha. i am juz joking!!! but we took alot of pic n had alot of fun today. after tt we went causeway point. actually wanna watch movie but didnt. we went arcade instead. den saw this really small boy playing daytona. haha. he damn cute lah. challenge deep n remi. but always end up 3rd. haha. went to eat at GELARE finally. yeah! on my way home i smell KFC! haha. n guess wad? i ate it too. haha. okok. i noe i wanna slim down quite badly lah. but... i cant resist temptation. :Pno idea y but i juz feel fucking tired. all i wanna do is to slp. i juz feel v.tired! both emotionally and physically. everything i do is my fault. i cant make the world happy. i am not perfect and no one is perfect. if u wanna hate me there is nothing i can do. if u can ask him not to contact me den i will not contact him. if he can do it den i can. but it takes two hands to clap.
Thursday, August 17, 2006 at Thursday, August 17, 2006
today nv go to sch. by the time i woke up it was already 2pm... so tired. woke ate n guess wad? i open the frigde. n i cannot take it. i started scolding everyone n i took a big bag n cleared everything!!! haha. now its squeaky white n clean. all thanks to me. i also groomed lucky. shaved his underpads n bathed him. haha. i had a hard time getting his front paws done! stupid dog. but after he bathed i love him lah. haha. so cute.. he fell asleep n look like a baby. haha. love him to bits. after tt i vacum my room change my bedsheets n mopped the floor. haha. went gym wid vik. suddenly i feel v.troubled. i had no idea y... but i juz am. dun have mood to do anything also. jog 2.4km only. wanted to stop only. i got no mood! i forced myself to finish the whole plate of ipoh hor fun. was still troubled though. but nw i am juz not feeling well. i am troubled lah. duno why.. sian!!! today went to sch rather late but today is not like any other day. cuz its the first time ever i felt dis way. today was damn slack. den haliza gave us a paper n ask us to draw out wad changes our life. haiz. its definately sad and emotional lah. alot of us cried and some confessed tt they r gay.. some admit tt they talk to emself and some really cried the hell out. dramatic n madness. but from today's lesson i learn tt learn to cherish life n be grateful of wad u have. cuz u do not know wat will happen next. for me i mentioned sentosa.
its my playground i met him and gt to know cindy. both of em really change me alot. they both taught me to be independent. n i am really happy to know cindy. she nv fails to push me to my limits to excel. she taught me to give the best i can. becos of her, therefore i am wad i am today. really admire her way of settling things and her independence. my role model lah. haha. sound like some small kid. but its okies. cuz she guide me tru it all...
today training was okies. gillian's bday! haha. she is still so cute as ever. kena sabo until v.jialat. haha. but i think she is like one of my fave lah. :P trained wid voleibols n they r really power lah!!! like the way they play. n tts the way man!!! haha. been asking lingg to help me ask ivy abt yew tee csc. but no response. actually i did tot of joining our own RP mens team n train. haa. train like a man and play like a man! haha. i noe i mayb small. but i only live once so go for wad i wan! nv am i going to give up hope! :P i am so motivated some how!!! but during training i think i somehow hurt my thumb and my arm.. tsk... clumsy me...
tml is thurs! arghs! basic sci... ew... i dun like lah. haha. but hu cares anyway. haiz. was talking a boobs today. n i remember tt lingg said tt i somehow shrink alil.!!! haiz!!! though am not small but its not big either. haa. cant afford to let it grow smaller! haha. think wear too much sportsbra ler lah. haha. nvm. tml die die muz go gym!!!
as for the taggy tt was sent to me by PARTICLE. i dunno hu u r. but i did think about the things tt u said. i think tt no matter wad rite. now tt i have grow up lers. i have to be responsible of my actions n blah blah blah. no doubt wad i did was not rite but its not wrong either. it depends on hw u look at it in many perspective. i cant make everyone accept the things i do or agree wid me. but if i do make a mistake i will nt be scared to face the consequences. as i am old enuf to handle things as it comes. i am no longer a small kid. so even if i fall down i have to stand up on my own. learn from the mistakes. so retributions wise... wad is dere to be scared of? life isnt a bed of rose... there r many ups n downs. its tru mistakes tt we learn... but yups. i will face the problems n settle it the best way i can. thanks lingg anyway. but i am not scared. n i really love u for all the support n being dere for me.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006 at Tuesday, August 15, 2006
manage to wake up at 7 today. but i fell aslp again. damn! i missed UT n sch as well. jia lat eh... dad was soo irritated wid my alarm tt he threw it on the floor. haa. was raining v.heavily. den i went Marina Square wid lingg. haa. soo long nv see tt idiot. haha. miss her though. haa. btw i bought a quiksilver cap. haa. last piece.. lucky me. den went to suntec n saw anne n vik. haa. waited for vik to knock off n go home tog. actually wanna go GELARE to eat ice cream alone. but muz wait so long. den nvm lah. forget it anyway. den gt this nerdy looking beng came n get my no. i almost puke lah. rejected him straight away. :P haha
Monday, August 14, 2006 at Monday, August 14, 2006
finally i manage to wake up earlier at 7.15. i am still late though but i am early. haa. but i went home half way. muz be thinkin all nite tt i nt rest properly in the nite. it cause me to have poor appetite n v.bad headache. so i went home early. wanted to rest but it happen tt alot ppl chat wid me n everything. n i only can sleep at 5 plus... haiz. i missed the last match. my headache is really killing me. anyway i am a reserve so i chose to rest at home instead. when i woke up its already 7 plus. den i went out n have dinner. den now juz gt home.btw its been sooooo long since i last went to gym. i shall start again tml. as cellulite r forming... ew..
to u,
please learn to love urself n dun hurt urself again. i had said alot of things to u. i hope u will learn to cherish urself. life isnt all abt love. there is other things u can go for. he is not the only guy out dere. the best is yet to come n god have better plans for u. i genuinely care for u as a fren. really... i feel sad tt u behave dis way as well. rest well n faster get back to health n we shall go sentosa together soon.
from me. wads wid me... its 2.30am rite now... i cant sleep! i am not happy neither i am sad. i gt a feeling which i dunno how to explain. i am troubled. many many questions n tots went tru my mind. i am flooded by tots! i dunno what to do. i am stressed up in a way. haiz. life is complicated.. really complicated. what shud i do? n look at the mess tt i have created. haiz. chaotic! one more thing before i leave...
i am extremely hungry! today woke up feeling extremely tired. haiz. was supposed to go sentosa wid gary they all. but i dun feel like going. haiz... my playground n i dun feel like gg... went to queensway to meet vik. bought two sportsbra. n a bag n 2 green bowl for lucky frm ikea. den go home lers.
Sunday, August 13, 2006 at Sunday, August 13, 2006
no one understand how i feel rite now at this moment. there is no one i can talk to. when i turn to u i expect u to cheer me up a lil. but u made it ten times worst! i hate the way it is!!!! i hate it! i hate myself! i feel so sick!!! i am sick of my life! will everything juz stop? i wanna go back to my original self. the happy n jumpy shuhui. but i guess she have gone to holiday already. wont be back soon.. haiz. i need to talk to someone... haiz...
haiz. yest went to hougang sportshall to watch the ladies play against KEBUN BARU CSC. frankly speaking i think our gers did cut down on their mistake! yeah! that is a big step out! jia you gers! was supposed to meet mad n mel for lunch but turn out i was late! wads wid me being late!!!! if ppl read my blog there is no single day tt i am not late. hm... well done. after that i went to orchard to meet jere. we watched click. haha. tru out the movie i teared n cried. haiz. so emotional! wth.. but its really nice lah. den suddenly my hp vibrated. haiz. when i look i was kinda scared. haiz. but i nv pick up. haiz. den after movie we went pacific plaza to use the toilet n tt is where i broke down n cry. haiz. it was all my fault. haiz. i feel so bad. why am i doing dis? going out wid ppl's bf. worst. my fren's bf... haiz. so we went to one corner n i couldnt stop crying. haiz. at tt point of time i knew tt everything will stop. cuz i we decided that we shud not contact each other. haiz... i am used to waking up n see ur msg... i am used to talking to u on the hp even though all we talked abt is our past. the happy times we shared. haiz. but from today onwards we wont msg each other. we wont talk to each other n we wont see each other again. haiz.
after i somehow cool down he said he wanna send me home. haiz. tt is probably the last time he will send me home. haiz.. i asked him to stay by me. we talked. haiz. we went bishan park n sat in the middle of the platform in the middle of the pond. the first time we really look at the stars n moon tog. haiz. probably the last time. we talked n cried like no body's business. haiz. after all tt we wont do it again.
all i wanna say is i always loved u. n i will always do... you are the sweetest thing that happened in my life. haiz.. but i have faith tt one day we will be together again.. juz like kate n alex in the LAKE HOUSE. wid patience n faith... they got together. n i promise if one day we get back together, i will never let go of our love again... cuz i have lose u once n i nv wanna lose u again...
Friday, August 11, 2006 at Friday, August 11, 2006
haiz. dunno wad the hell am i doing. was late for sch but went anyway cuz i have accidently picked up cindy's call. omg! i owe her $20 already. went sch den eat breakfast den chao! wth rite? went away wid remi, deep louis and joce. we went to town n i had a new hair cut. haiz. played some stupid game and went hougang sportshall.today was VOLEIBOL vs RP! tsk... boring like hell. kena trash. however my eyes r set on the match against WENYANG SPORTS ASSOCIATION vs TEMASEK JC Alumni. omg! gt dis no.12 guy! his blocking n spiking really v.good! wah lao! really admire his skills though he look kinda old. but i am kinda magnet to him somehow. hehe. wth.
haiz... after tt i went hougang mall and eat wid the men's team den go home lers. haiz. sian... i think i am falling deeper n deeper already. haiz. i am so evil!
Thursday, August 10, 2006 at Thursday, August 10, 2006
haiz.. nv go sch again!!! haha. today damn sian. the problems still continues.. chatted wid germaine. but obviously we r going no where. haiz. none of us want to give up. haiz. chatted for so long n we r back to square. she suggested we "threesome" and let him have both of us at the same time. but i said no. cuz its total madness. something i can nv ever accept. i rather die man. was kinda troubled by though.. i dunno wad to do. i am so sian. was kinda late for comp. had to be bench warmers. damn sian tt i didnt get to play. so useless!!! ask him to pray for me. but he nv. haha. but nvm i can always try harder next time. after tt was the match KEBUN BARU CSC vs DE OTHER TEAM!!! omg. i can tell u the match is really breath taking. exactly the same as the match voleibol n v alliance. wah lao eh they really play like men! v. fierce! my idols are all in kebun baru csc. but in the end they win. for the very first time he encouraged me. n i really appreaciate tt. really... it mean alot.. haiz.. den he nv reply lers. i tot mayb he book out lers. tts y nv reply... haiz. the demon in me is being awaken. haiz wad shud i do?
if i want him to be happy juz drag on. let him choose and slowly take his time. if he choose me i will be happy germaine will be sad. but if he choose germaine i will understand n neither will i blame him. but will be all alone but all i wan is for him to be happy. but if we were to push him to the corner he will probably drop us like hot cakes. haiz! wad shall i do? i dunno. if i dun reply him, he may blame germaine. if i reply him germaine will be somehow hurt and feel insercure. but on the other hand if one of us gets jere we will feel sorry for each other. haiz. delimma!!! arghs!!! its driving me nuts! den on my way home i was thinking, we always talk abt our past. but will we ever talk abt our future again? haiz. no one noes... today was supposed to go training. but somehow i was having headache and woke up late anyway. went holland v for the first time. i noe i am sua gu lah. was actually wid jere. had mexican food. den went to his hse to meet cindy and make sushi tog.
then was watching dis show wid the whole family. den haiz. i couldnt talk n i really feel v.low after tt. cuz the situation is juz like the ppl in the serial. exactly the same. haiz. den suddenly the mum n sis was like saying tt they dun like the ger. cuz she is useless and irritating. the lead already gt wife already but the ger still cannot let go. i kept quiet throughout and went home after tt. on my way home. alot of qns went tru my mind. was crying on my way home. haiz. tt mp3 player tt he gave me is not wrking again. wad does it mean... haiz. mayb we r jus not fated?
went home n look at germaine's blog. haiz. i feel so guilty. no doubt.. i love jere and i hope tt one day we will be tog again. but i swear that i have nv tot of coming into their relationship. cuz i noe she treat him the best more den anyone else. haiz. i am really sorry i made u feel dis way... haiz. ethic problem! not easy to solve.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006 at Wednesday, August 09, 2006
haiz... i didnt really make it. i juz came back frm prata hse. haiz. i feel so sinful!!!!!! jialat! went wid deep. haha. btw was having flu. yeah!!! finally fell sick. haha. i am nt sick in the head or wad but i love the feeling of sneezing. haha. kinda like the feeling lah. dunno hw to explain also. haiz. dunno wad is wrong wid vik again. always liddat. but actually come to think of it her tempermental mood swing is better now. but she fly me aeroplane can i fly her cannot. haiz. humans... wad is wrong wid ppl these days? cant they juz bloody live in peace? y pick quarrell? i gt my own problems and i feel so screwed up and so i cant make everyone happy! cuz no one is perfect! sian. juz hope tt sometimes everything will just stop. even for 10 mins.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006 at Tuesday, August 08, 2006
i was late for UT. but can handle it lah. den i quarrelled wid nigel again! early morning. my god. he bloody go n throw the wallet at me! feel so fucked up tt i started cursing and swearing n joce look rather dots abt it... i cant stand this action lah! hate being treated liddat! okok. other thingy den. wore red top and white pants. god i really look like sg flag. heheits like playing mind game. i noe wad he want. but i will not give him wad he want. wad if i lose grip and everything gets out of hand and outa control? i muz be more firm!!!! FIRM!!!
haiz.. today everyone wanna be pilot. all fly me aeroplane. aunt last min say dun wanna meet lers. so go home slack. actually wanna go watch movie de. but deep cant make it. den too late to go gym either. so slack at home the whole day. haa. finally learn how to play mine sweeper lers. :P
btw i had finally not had dinner for a few days. hope i can persevere!! n deep made me realise tt i am actually quite lucky yet pathetic. haiz. dunno hw to say but ya. sian. actually i also duno wad i wanna say. my blog is in a mess. haha. retard.
Monday, August 07, 2006 at Monday, August 07, 2006
haven been sleeping properly for the past few days... i had been crying myself to sleep. y do all dis had to happen again n again. can i jus freakin stop being so emotional.? dun contact me! leave me alone. i am not like u! i cant just put the memory of us for the past 2 yrs just like tt! i hate it to be dis way. i love u!!! but i cant tell u. cuz u will nv be mine again! i hate myself. i hate things to turn out dis way! its all my fault... i am no longer the one. she is the one, ur future... and i am history. can u juz be more curuel to me... tell me straight in the face that u dont love me anymore!i am crying to myself in the nite. and during training we went jogging. my heart nv felt so painful before. it hurts and it really hurts. i couldnt breathe. but i tell myself i muz complete it. for u i will. i was on the verge of crying. i couldnt let it go juz liddat... i hope everything will juz stop! i wanted to be brave. but i ended up crying inside the cubicle. i didnt dare to go out. i went to one corner and sit in a corner trying to cool myself dwn. but the gers came over n i lose control. haiz. i am so weak.
it affected the whole performance. and wad rena said is rite. i shouldnt bring my emotions into the court. anyway its been so long. but.. its not as easy as it seems. i take me alot of courage to say those things to u.
Sunday, August 06, 2006 at Sunday, August 06, 2006
yest went to town wid mad. actually to buy sports bra. but didnt buy any. was wid deep and remi! haha. tt 2 bugger. still as funny as ever.haiz. i nv get to play in the game. was v.sian abt it. cuz the first thing i see when i open my eye is " u noe u nt in today's game?" haiz. abit sian lors!!! but i still went anyway. the match against V alliance and Volleibois is really intense!! omg! i have nv seen such an gan jiong match b4!!!i somehow was kinda mad dere. haha. was cheering so loudly like some volleyvall fanatic. wahaha. no.7 is hot! for both teams. haa. one of em look abit like sunshine another one look cocky but still cute. :P
went to wrk today by cab! haiz. broke ler lah!!! wth.. but today was kinda slack. hope every sunday will be liddat. btw lucky and fortunately damien no longer wrk wid M1. haiz. i think whole paragon noes abt it! omg... dunno wad to say. btw gt this cute cust v.cute though she is 27! really pretty, petite and bubbly. haha. brighten my day! happy serving her! hehe. den gt two motorola promoter quite cute also. haha. life is a breeze today. but no one acc me go eat.. haiz. gd for me. diet!!!
Saturday, August 05, 2006 at Saturday, August 05, 2006
Today nv go sch. When I woke up QQ called me. I was still sleeping lors. Haa. First time I gt ppl ask me out the min I woke up. But guess wad? He wanna ask me go to the hotel to find AKI wid him. Haiz… that HIMBO! But wad to do? He is my “BF”. Haa. So yups I agreed. Anyway he that time acc me go hunt for sunshine and everything. Hehe. Fren enough ler k!!!He came my house before we head for orchard. Haa, tt moron go to level 6 n press the doorbell for so many times without realizing that it is NOT my house. Haha. Lucky no one answered the door. Haha. I took so long to come and I thought he somehow lost his way. Then when we went to the 7 eleven near my house, gt dis guy keep lookin. Haa. And stalk us to the more wulu minimart. Haha. Den gary v.funny say he keep lookin at me . Lol. Tt guy tailed us to the bus stop somemore. We took a bus n went to the main road and change bus, saw tt guy again. Wth!
Then we went shopping around town. Went kinokuniya! Omg! Its not the kind of place that I will go everytime I am at town. But it’s the kind of place that you will stay for v.long once u step in! saw dis picture book! Its really amazing. Its got all my fav sea view and underwater pics. Love it man! Hope tt one day I can go scuba diving one day and look at em wid my own naked eyes. We gt a card for Aki. Then we went to metropolitan YMCA to look for her. Haha. We sat at the lobby. We took quite some time to think abt wad to write in the card and waited for awhile. Lucky the receptionist is rather helpful! Hehe. After awhile we saw a grp of Japanese starting to stroll into the lobby. Haa. So we approached a couple of jap gers and ask her to convey some message to Aki. Den she came down screaming. Somehow I introduced myself to em. I love introducing myself! Haa. The confidence in me. But somehow gt abit of communication problem lah. Haha. I shake hands wid one hand they grip my hand wid two hands I feel so rude. Haa. Then they started taking out A LOT of cameras!!! abt 7 cameras was around? Really a lot… den they pronounce gary’s name til like “GAY” haha. Funny lah.
Then the next min we became like camera whore. We keep posing in front of camera. Kinda weird but it’s a once in a life time experience I guess. They were really friendly. After that we actually wanna watch movie. But too late lers. Btw I saw Stanley. Long time nv see him. Haha. Wad a coincidence.! Went to eat pasta instead. Nv really eat much but a lot of junk food in my tummy. Gotta go gym!!! Dis whole week nv go lors. Jialat!!! Haha. But thanks to gary, cuz he made me realize that actually still gt guys will look at me. Haha. Boost my confidence. Btw we saw dis men’s watch we both really love. I think we will get it soon as I need a sporty watch. I dun care if it is a mens watch as long as it looks good on me. Haha. Not v.ex. hope I can faster get it so I can go jog wid it.! :P
Friday, August 04, 2006 at Friday, August 04, 2006
today missed UT. haiz. was sci today. BORING. haha. slack my day off. took FBT jeresy today. went to watch LAKE HOUSE wid vik today. its really v.romantic. it made me teared a few times. its really worth watching. i really love the house. omg... really v.nice. i learn something.. its useless to get into a relationship juz for the sake of having a relationship. so i have tot it tru. i will wait patiently and wait for the rite guy to come by. i think i am really a hopeless romantic. haa... :P
treat vik to eat marche. haiz. tt skinny ger go dere only eat potato. haa. i had a hard time finishing up the food. haaa. but its okies. cuz its not like its a everyday thing. i love her! hehe. happy birthday BITCH! haha... u will always be.. haha... :P
haiz. dunno y i didnt cool down properly yest. haiz.. even my throat muscle also pain! arghs!!! pain is all over me. haiz. sian.
Thursday, August 03, 2006 at Thursday, August 03, 2006
went to sch late as i keep lai chuang. haha. mum had a hard time waking me up. she gotta pull my blanket away, take my doggy huggy away. n i will take em back n hug n cover myself again. haa. been doing dis for almost 30 mins. rolling here n dere to dodge her from taking em away frm me. haa. missed first meeting, second meeting was breeze. we had arm wrestling today. haa. whole class was chaotic. winner for women is diana and mens is louis. i only manage to win joce. haha. same height. tts y grp tog. third meeting was only 6P. haa.before training i went causeway wid nigel n gary. haha. my two beloved BFs.. haha. had long john den went back to RP to gather again. was asked to pass a piggy back to regina for gary. but she refused. haa. den i am stuck wid the damn pigg. den i open her bag n put it in secretly. haa. got rid of it lers.
had training wid Voleibois. haiz. they are simply fantastic. in terms of skills. haha. look at our match n their match is like heaven and earth man. ours is so dull and boring. gt one quite cute. wearing ghim moh alumni jersey. saw him in U19 b4. good lookin but can see tt he kinda cocky. but didnt really care. haa... was rolling abt without kneepad again. dis time i hurt my head. haiz. wad a dumb ass. a few more new blu black. but its okies. cuz it will heal. n its not exactly painful. wad is most important is the ball is being recieved nicely. but prob is didnt really do a good job. haiz. was not in the main team for pestan sukan! kinda dissapointed. doubt i have chance to go in. i feel like crap and i feel like giving up! haiz. i feel that no matter wad i do also no use de. no talent! haiz. i hate dis feeling. i am nt greedy but i just hope my efforts will pay off.
i seriously not scared of falling down and get my elbow and knee cap abrased. i really dun care. all i care abt is that all my efforts that i put in will pay off. its that simple. i need someone to stand by me. i cant take it anymore! i need to be enlighten and encouraged. but i can turn to no one. all the people hu promised to be dere for me were not dere. when ppl have problem they come to me. but when i have problem who do i turn to ? and where do i go? no one understand how i feel. haiz. sadded. wad a failure i am!
Wednesday, August 02, 2006 at Wednesday, August 02, 2006
went sch today... kinda tired... was in the same team wid wan keat! v.pissed wid her! she keep get all tensed and keep opposing my idea. den in the end i kinda left the team to finish everything and went to have lunch wid lingg.she confided wid me. but i dunno hw to console or advise her. all i could do is to lend her my ears. cuz we r in the same boat. ivan's behaviour and attitude is jus like jere. haha. its like seeing my relationship being replay again. but no matter wad, ger its time to move on don end up like me. be happy ! i wan u to be happy.. i will be there for u if u ever need me. if really fated no matter wad will still get together again de. afterall its been so long since u all have been tog.
when home straight after sch. was supposed to meet vik. but she went shopping for bday prez wid her aunt. so i called up gab since yest he say he wanna go out. haha. so i ask him go bishan park jog wid me. haha. tt lazy bum. he came and we went to "jog".. actually nv really jog much. we jog abit den walk abit... haha.. we ended up strolling bishan park and talk to each other. two bugger!
ate chicken chop and durian for dinner! i am so dead. haa. nv really excercise still eat so much! shuhui!!! u better wake up before u turn into ah fat!!! yest eat rice today eat durain!!! haha.. i am so dead!
btw wads wid me and the lift!!! keep scaring myself.. yest nite took lift alone. heard paper being swipe across the ground behind me. but when i turn around dere was nothing. it happen a few times n i was all alone! kinda scared n start to fluster. haa. turn out it was flyers trapped in between the doors brushing against the levels as the lift goes up. stupid ger! den today at RP took lift alone today. den suddenly gt something drop on the top.. scare the shit out of me. my heart is small!!
if my close guy frens u all happen to come across my blog, let me telll u all dis! i am a ger k ?! i think they kinda forget i am... gary can go and ask me to acc me go hotel find his jap dream ger wid him to exchange no. (he gt to noe her at sentosa) wth rite? haa. gab also liddat nigel also liddat. haha. if u all see me as one of the guys den nvm bah! den let me make my confessions den! I'M GAY! BECAUSE I LOVE GUYS! will do? loud and clear! haha
Tuesday, August 01, 2006 at Tuesday, August 01, 2006
today morning was kinda grouchy! scolded mum for irritating me early in the morning! hm... kinda hot tempered lah... think sunshine nv go sch today.. haiz... so sian cuz it means i comfirm wont get to see him. tsk.. haha.. so kinda sian. but life still goes on. haha. cuz its not like he will feel the same way for me.. haha.. so back to reality.btw training dates have been changed to every mon n wed. haiz... so sian... at least motivation for me to go sch on wed. today played libero again. but without knee pad. haha. was rolling n knocking myself against the all over the floor. haha. was kinda fun though. dis lady came n join us. wah... her skills r superb! she is married wid kids already lors! salute! mordern mum. tts wad i wanna be in future. haha. she taught me quite alot and learned much frm her! she is my role model. haha.
after training i went straight to YCK gym. jog abit and did some abs curl. kinda tired though. but its okies... gonna burn the fats... when i reach hm i bought soya bean milk. its always lidat! i always start off well n towards the end i lose control! can u believe i went to eat rice!!!! arghs!! temptations!!! y????? no wonder cannot see results... simply serve me rite!